Category Archives: immigrants

Bowing Toward Mocha: Why Americans Suck at Taking to the Streets.

Let me get this straight right at the beginning. I am not complaining. I for one am happy as can be that for the most part my fellow countrymen and I comprise the lamest bunch of flame-throwing radicals in the … Continue reading

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Red and Blue Rover: My Playground Solution to Cutting the Deficit.

Heck, they’re acting like children anyway. Let’s play in their wheel house.We have this massive deficit, but no one on either side can think of any way to cut it other than attacking a bogeyman on the other side. Republicans … Continue reading

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One Final Tea Party Appeal to Right Thinking Voters, in Verse!

Been two long years since madness fell upon the population, And loosed a rabid, foreign, Muslim Commie on our nation. Why even ‘fore he took the oath—while Bush was still in place He started on his evil plot to throttle … Continue reading

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So You Wanna Be a Tea Party Candidate!

Early on the movement was sufficiently widespread and populist in nature that it was really difficult to define accurately the “typical” Tea Party candidate. Now that the primary season is over scientists have been able to arrive at a template … Continue reading

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The Phoenix Theater of the Fence Presents: White-Side Story, Part I: The Jute Song

BIFF Hey, Joe Bob! Looky, the boys is playin’ soccer. JOE BOB Hey, Biff, don’t you mean fute- ball? (all of the Jutes laugh) BIFF Last time I checked this was a football field, not some South American, New World … Continue reading

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How to Spot a Real American!

Don’t look any farther east than Pennsylvania or any farther west than Reagan International. It is American to fight to defend the Constitution, and to demand that its original intentions be protected; it is un-American to read it. Seat belts … Continue reading

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Foreign Immigrants and College Emigrants

Originally published 9.2007 President “Childrens” is becoming test-obsessed! In the same issue of the New York Times, September 28 to be precise, I read about a new test for those who wish to become citizens and those who wish to … Continue reading

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