One Final Tea Party Appeal to Right Thinking Voters, in Verse!

Been two long years since madness fell upon the population,

And loosed a rabid, foreign, Muslim Commie on our nation.

Why even ‘fore he took the oath—while Bush was still in place

He started on his evil plot to throttle the white race.

Sure Bennett, Chambliss, Cobourn, Cornyn, Thune and thirty more

Voted for the TARP though they had no idée what for.

Sure Graham, Sessions, Davis, Buyer, Bishop took the cash

While claiming that the stimulus was dangerous and rash.

But these are not the times to get wrapped up in moral spats.

These guys may all be hypocrites but they’re not Democrats.

This here midterm election ain’t about what Congress spent.

It ain’t about war profiteers or them what can’t pay rent.

It ain’t about democracy or broad-based tax-cut stats.

This here midterm election’s ‘bout us hatin’ Democrats.

We stand for fam’ly values, Christian teachings, moral chores.

But we don’t mind if Vitter spent his tenure bangin’ whores.

It ain’t none of our business if folks screw like alley cats,

As long as them folk screwin’ ain’t no goddamn Democrats.

They claim that we are racists, and we say that just ain’t right.

We just think folks should prove they’re citizens if they ain’t white.

So when Fanelli tells us “dark-skinned” folks wear terror hats,

That tells us he opposes Jihad-lovin’ Democrats.

Okay, so sometimes Richard Lott will doff the stuff he’s wearing,

Bop into his closet and come out like Hermann Goering.

So what if he identifies with Nazi guys like that?

At least if he’s a Nazi, he is not a Democrat.

And what about Sabrina—oops! I mean our friend Christine.

Okay she’s kind of loopy, but that’s no cause to be mean.

Wouldn’t know the Constitution if it bit her baby fat.

Okay she’s dumb as dandruff, but she ain’t no Democrat!

What you folks got to understand is why we’re in distress.

Look at all they’ve wrecked since they inherited this mess.

How many U.S. soldiers have this mortal coil departed,

Since they took over both those messed up wars that our side started.

Don’t their ties to Wall Street bankers smell a little funny

Even though those banking guys are giving US their money?

Obama-care has driven us to ruin overnight.

Okay, it hasn’t yet. But hey we think it kinda might.

Our guys bang male interns, meet in restrooms and motels,

But at least when they’re in public they are strict “Don’t Ask; Don’t Tells!”

They send racist, porno emails of guys who bugger cats.

But chapter-verse, it could be worse. They could be Democrats.

Make sure this coming Tuesday at the polling place you’ll be.

Don’t worry folks, you’re lily white. They won’t ask for I.D.

Don’t think about the issues or the threats that lie ahead.

Heck the rapture’s coming soon, and  you’ll  be saved or dead.

Just bring self-righteous anger and your fresh tri-corner hats.

Take and stand and vote against your local Democrats!

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About bigshotprof

College Professor in the Communication Studies department at Pace University. My personal life fall somewhere in the gap between less than you want to know and more than you need to know.
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