Take this simple quiz to find out.
The police stop you, because you have a broken tail light. When the office shines his flashlight in the car, he sees a small amount of cocaine in plastic wrap on the dashboard. Which of the following are you most likely to say?
- There’s been some mistake. This isn’t my car; it belongs to my assistant.
- Bitch, why you be throwin’ your product in my car? Officer, git this hoochie and her powder up oughta my car.
- Sorry. While I was leaving the drive-thru I backed into a fire truck.
- My lights were on?
Why do you refuse to wear a wrist watch?
- I don’t need one; I can tell time by the positions of the moon.
- The band keeps catching on my shoulder holster.
- The doctors took it when I tried to use it hang myself.
- I have a pocket watch. I keep it right here on my arm.
What’s the first thing that comes into your mind when I say: Double—
- . . . . . . . . . . . .
What do you most hope to be in life?
- Kanye West.
- An orphan.
- Exactly how I am now, but not like this.
Do have any big regrets?
- I’m not able to. They tell me that regrets require a long term memory and a soul.
- Yeah! I regret that one minute ago I didn’t put a cap in your ass. Whoa! There it goes again. . . Whoa!
- I miss Herbie. I think I really could have made it work with Herbie.
- No, man. I’m trying to quit.
Last question: What makes you unique?
- I am the only organism in the universe that consumes fuel and emits waste but produces nothing.
- Hey. I rap about the truth! The streets! Bitches! Ain’t no one else doin’ that.
- Jane Fonda said I am one of America’s most talented young actors. That and I can field strip a colt .45 with my labia.
- According to the video, I spent an entire season in rehab with Dr. Drew while I thought I was in a booth at the Yorba Linda Chili’s.
Add your total score and divide by six (6). Round off to the closest number up or down. See the chart below.
1= Paris Hilton
In the event that you got to the bottom of the quiz an could neither recall your answers no manage the math, consider yourself David Hasselhoff.