Monthly Archives: August 2010

They Jerk All Our Lives: A Social Media Anthem

From the day we first login to Google, for porno and L-O-L cats Our secret wish is to gather and dish and post pics of ourselves being brats. So geeks at Harvard and Yale, Cal Poly and rich daddies’ dens … Continue reading

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Exclusive Leak: the New Apple Holy iBle!

The news out of Cupertino is that despite persistent rumors of some sort of Apple streaming TV, Steve Jobs has something far more ambitious in mind for this September’s product announcement. My confidential sources tell me that the rumors are … Continue reading

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Glenn Beck’s Restoring Honor Speech: Excerpted Quotes From King.

When Glenn Beck mounts the podium at the “Restoring Honor” rally in Washington, on the 28th of August, 2010 he will no doubt be cognizant of the memories of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech–so cognizant in fact … Continue reading

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The Bigshot Mindset List for the Class of 2014

They have an average of 1,724 songs on their iPods. They have never bought music. They have never gone to a movie nor read a book that did not include a vampire and/or Will Ferrell. “What is this ‘church’ of … Continue reading

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El Invasion de los Spermos Malevolente!

The strategy is simple yet sublime in its evil genius. Having had their nefarious plot to recapture the Southern United States by re-insinuating themselves into American political life through the nefarious use of “anchor babies”—tiny little roadside IACs (incredibly adorable … Continue reading

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An Exercise in Restatement

Restatement Exercise. The exercise is simple. In the left column are general statements. In the right column are classic American movies. Your job is to restate each item in the left column with a classic quote. Example: We don’t want … Continue reading

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