Recently CNN posted a link called Is Your Anger Like Mel Gibsons? to an article. The article that it took you to–while interesting–was just a general discussion of rage. It didn’t really help you compare YOUR rage to Mel Gibson’s. To pick up where CNN dropped the ball, I have provided a simple five question quiz that will help you really compare your anger to Mel Gibson’s. Answer honestly. Good luck!
Even though he saw a merge sign half a mile ago, the jerk in the left lane pulls in front of you now at full speed, daring you to hit him. Do you:
- Recognize that retaliation could endanger several people and just let it go?
- Flip him the finger and tailgate him for ten miles.
- Call Mel Gibson’s girlfriend and tell her she’s a %^*@#-ing sheep-&+%#$-er!
The Jewish guy across the hall bugs you very Friday to come over and turn on his air conditioner—which he can’t do, because it is the Sabbath. Do you:
- Tell him if he really believes in the Sabbath Law he will just sweat it out.
- Hide and pretend you aren’t in.
- Spend $60 million dollars on a movie about the crucifixion of Jesus.
Vicious White Supremacists march down your street without a permit. Do you:
- Call the police and demand that they be arrested.
- Join the counter-protesters and tell them what you think of them.
- Wait at the finish line and give your dad a ride home.
You want to watch the big game, but everyone else insists that you come with them to visit the Statue of Liberty. Do you
- Go but complain the whole time about how stupid and touristy it is.
- Refuse to go and watch the game but can’t enjoy it because of the controversy.
- Go and when you get to the top tell Lady Liberty that her crown makes her look like a ^%#$-ing transvestite and her implants look like they were made out of &%$^-ing brass!
Your girlfriend goes public with a bunch of phone messages that make you seem like an out-of-control psychopath. Do you
- Blame the booze and suffer silently.
- Claim you’re broke, suffer silently and hope Whoopi Goldberg remembers that you treated her OK.
- Move back to Australia with your ex-wife, try to put it all behind you, then after about six months scream that if the ^$%&-ing Kike-a-berras don’t stop laughing in the old gum tree, you are going to burn the &%#%-ing island into the Iron Age.
SCORING: Dude! Have you seen the papers? Your anger is like Mel Gibson’s. You are never going to score again!