A 40th Anniversary Star Wars Ten Things You Need to Know!

  1. Luke to young Jedi in training: Hey, you kids, get offa my Wan!
  2. Grandkids sick of hearing about how pop-pop was frozen in Carbonite.
  3. “Poo or not poo; there is only try.”
  4. Jabba is no longer a Hutt. Now he’s a full-sized summer cottage.
  5. Speaking of building puns, investments didn’t really pay off. Just call him “Condo” Calrissian.
  6. “In my day, making the jump into hyperspace wasn’t like dusting crops boy!”
  7. You mean if you had just sided with Uncle Anikin, we would own all of this!??
  8. Grill’s nice and hot! How d’ya like your ewok steaks?
  9. Doubt leads to fear, fear leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side, the dark side leads to unrealistic expectations, unrealistic expectations lead to disillusionment, then you don’t appreciate the things you have, you get grumpy, drink a little too much, develop gout, a mild heart episode, one or two missed appointments, forget where you live one time and they ship you off to the assisted living planet!
  10. Finally, a long time from then, in an Iowa courthouse far, far away, R2 and 3PO have been able to tie the knot.
Advertisements

About bigshotprof

College Professor in the Communication Studies department at Pace University. My personal life fall somewhere in the gap between less than you want to know and more than you need to know.
This entry was posted in satire and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s