Songs From the G.O.P. Musical No-klahoma: Part 2.

The Army With the Fringe on the Top.

Brigadier General Curley (Ret.)

If it’s time to leave your family, and become a brand new enlistee,
You will join a brand new set of martial forces, guaranteed to shake your family tree.

Lesbos, Homos, young dikes and fairies
Guys who go by Lawrence not Larry
Join the spankin’ new military with the fringe on top.
You will be all sashay and swishin’
When we send you out on a mission
With your candle-scent ammunition on a forward op.
The combat boots and camouflage we wore in an earlier day
Have given way to a new collage that’s a little more prêt-a-porter.
No more tanks and a Sarge name a Rummy.
Just new spanx for a flat toney tummy.
Semper Fi’s never been quite as chummy. It’s a bunny hop
In the smarmy little army with the fringe on the top.

Seventeen Year Old Potential Enlistee Elroy

I’m worried that I won’t fit in.

Brigadier General Curley (Ret.)

Fit in! Ah Hell, son. This is Barrak Hussein Obama’s new army. The go ahead and ask; go ahead and tell army. Everybody fits in.

Seventeen Year Old Potential Enlistee Elroy

But that’s a good thing. Right?

Brigadier General Curley (Ret.)

Good thing? Are you kiddin’ me boy? This is the army! We are supposed to fight for freedom of expression, freedom of thought and the right to determine one’s own true course. We’re supposed to fight for those things, not actually have them! Now drop and give me . . . I mean, Second position—plie!

Someone has to sound the alarm-y.
Every soldier will come to harm-y
If we field this new fangled army with the fringe on top.
Skip the mortars and the grenadin’
We’ll spend our days gay rights paradin’
All our medals we’ll be degradin’. Our morale will flop.
Sure it’s true that lady GIs are assaulted every hour,
But if you hire homosexual guys it won’t be safe in the shower.
I know fags have love for their nation.
Sure they’re filled with true inspiration.
That’s no cause for a fair expectation that they get to hop
In some smarmy little army with a fringe on the top.

Seventeen Year Old Potential Enlistee Elroy
Gosh, when you put it like that I guess you are right. But what can I do to serve my country and fight for freedom?
Brigadier General Curley (Ret.)
What are you good at, boy?
Seventeen Year Old Potential Enlistee Elroy
mumble . . . mumble
Brigadier General Curley (Ret.)
Speak up, soldier!
Seventeen Year Old Potential Enlistee Elroy
Interpretive Dance, Sir!
Brigadier General Curley (Ret.)
Then that’s how you can serve.
Seventeen Year Old Potential Enlistee Elroy
Really?
Brigadier General Curley (Ret.)
Let me see those jazz hands, son! Go do your country proud.

Let’s go back to the Drill Sgt. Yellin’
But no time for askin’ or tellin’
Call him gay and make him a felon, call an MP cop.
Every band of brave submariners
Straight laced, homespun t-shirt and jeaners
Safe in bunks just wankin’ their wieners till they’re told to stop.
Not this smarmy little army with the fringe on the top.

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About bigshotprof

College Professor in the Communication Studies department at Pace University. My personal life fall somewhere in the gap between less than you want to know and more than you need to know.
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