The Texas Board of Education’s Early History of Whitemerica! Part One: Discovery of the New World.

The Texas Board of Education’s Early History of Whitemerica.

Part One: The Discovery of America.

When the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria arrived in what would later come to be known as Miami Beach, Christopher Columbus was shocked to find hundreds of native tribesmen—all afflicted with diseases and begging to be carried back to Europe to be cured by its profit-based health care system. Columbus graciously agreed to rush them back, saying “What would you have us call you?” They answered “We prefer Redskin. It is a title of great honor to us. If you come back, please use the name for a future sports team. We won’t be offended at all.” When the Redskins offered to pay Columbus with the bountiful supply of gold they had spent centuries digging up, he said ”No! It would not be right to profit from your misery. How about if you all stay up here on deck with us?” The redskins replied “No thank you. We much prefer to stay in the hold away from the sun. And if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, don’t feed us. We hate that.”

So Columbus set sail back to Europe. The natives still sad because the great explorer would not accept their payment of gold, threw chunks of it at the ships as they sailed off. But the chunks sank into the ocean and were carried off by the current, which is why European explorers did not find gold along the east coast of the new world.

Advertisements

About bigshotprof

College Professor in the Communication Studies department at Pace University. My personal life fall somewhere in the gap between less than you want to know and more than you need to know.
This entry was posted in satire. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s