In his speech before those assembled at the first annual National Tea Party convention, Tom Tancredo called for a renewal of Voter Literacy Tests in American elections. The assembled became galvanized around the notion and created a first draft of such a document. As a public service, I am reproducing that draft below.
Remember, this is just a draft, not the final product.
The Proposed Voter Literacy Test of the 2010 National Tea Party Convention.
Following are ten (10) questions that anyone who wishes to vote in a local, state or federal election must answer. Voters must score at least 8 out of 10 to pass. In the interest of Affirmative Action, the person/s giving the test should identify the test-taker as a member of one of the following groups and use the appropriate answer key when grading:
Group One: Non-Caucasians and voters under 21 years of age. Key= Answer A correct.
Group Two: Registered Republicans. Key= Answer B correct.
Group Three: Self-identified Tea Party Movement Members. Key= Answer C correct.
1. How many times has the Constitution been amended?
- A. 27.
- B. Well . . . there’s the right to bear arms, then . . . I guess . . . a bunch of others.
- C. That’s a trick question! Prayers get Amen-ded, not Constitutions.
2. What was President John Kennedy’s stirring call to public service?
- A. “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”
- B. “Bobby, when you’re done with Marilyn send her up.”
- C. “There is no “I” in civility.”
3. Who won the Civil War?
- A. The Union.
- B. The enemy.
- C. The civilians.
4. What is “Eminent Domain?”
- A. A means by which government can appropriate private property at fair market value for public use.
- B. The quickest way to turn a useless slum into a useful interstate.
- C. A house that will get built any minute now.
5. What is “bicameral?”
- A. A two-party system of legislation.
- B. A political system divided into Republicans and extremists.
- C. The ability to take two pictures at once.
6. What is the Mayflower Compact?
- A. The first governing document of the Plymouth Colony.
- B. The last conservative government of Massachusetts.
- C. Dolly Parton’s make-up kit.
7. What is a “Miranda Warning?”
- A. A set of instructions that must be given to anyone arrested, describing that person’s right to counsel before questioning.
- B. A get-out-of-jail-free card.
- C. Good advice for Miranda in case she thinks about dating outside her race.
8. What is the pluribus in “E Pluribus Unum?”
- The Many in the motto “Out of the Many, One.”
- Part of a Socialist line on money that should be replaced by “Live Free or Die.”
- Where babies come from.
9. What do George Washington and Barack Obama have in common?
- A. Each will be written into history as significant—Washington because he was the first President, Obama because he was the first American President of color.
- B. Each had followers who thought he should be king.
- C. Neither was born in the United States.
10. What is “Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell?”
- A. A compromise negotiated by the Clinton administration to allow homosexuals to serve in the military without changing the formal policy banning them.
- B. The next in a long line of liberal appeasements to our foreign enemies.
- C. The episode of Maury where they announce the results of the paternity tests.