The Midnight Ride of Scotty Brown.

Listen, my children, while doth resound,
the midnight ride of Scotty Brown.
First month and third Tuesday, 2010
would calm our women, arouse our men.
As the left wing insurrection slithered down.

Just twelve months before, on a frigid night
A Kenyan Islamist had staged a coup.
The “real America” frozen in fright.
Believed there was nothing that they could do.
After eight years of peace and of prosperity
Having not been attacked since last century,
He took over the banks and stole our gold.
Set up death camps for the old.
To Satan our children’s souls he sold.

So a few brave freedom-loving souls
With not but freedom loving goals
And a TV network bold and brash
And some businessmen with wads of cash
And a timely housing market crash
On a million bucks, well maybe two
Formed a brave Teaparty crew.
This simple freedom loving fold
Went out and did what they were told.

So with their kind to congregate
Descended on the Capitol.
The nation’s eyes and ears they stole
With misspelled signs and righteous hate.
They called him Hitler, Satan, worse.
Guess some misread the Bible verse
The one wherein the multitude
Was counciled ‘gainst that attitude
To forsake anger or be liable
To the saviour in their Bible
When time came for grace to be imbued.

But Hitler, Hussein, devil-man
Sat with his henchmen ‘neath the minaret
To hatch the vilest freedom killer yet
A comprehensive public healthcare plan!
If this charade was passed then all was lost.
“How dare they choose our doctors, set our costs?
We must in every way this plan oppose
We’re used to getting screwed by CEOs.
How could they think we’d swallow such a trick?
What fun is well if no one else is sick?
We can’t let rules our government impose.”

The antichrist came in the winter’s dark
In January’s dreary norm.
She came in prosecutor’s form
to a little place called Fenway Park.
To replace the monster Kennedy
to seek out his indemnity
She would ape the words he wrote.
She would get the right wing’s goat.
“We won’t even need a vote.”

Was our once proud republic set to drown.
Would Arab marchers come by break of day
To take our Bibles, trucks and guns away?
They might had it not been for Scotty Brown.
His teeth, his wife and children pearly white,
He passed like penicillin through the blight.
He promised he knew how to save a buck.
He said our futures didn’t have to suck.
He said like us he clearly understood
That charity is bad and greed is good.
And then he proudly told us “Here’s my truck!”

So through the winter night rode Scotty Brown.
Through every scurvy nest where demons meet
Through every left wing mouse hole and retreat
To finally put the revolution down.
And so the voice of liberty rang true
At roughly 47-52.
And just as Glen and Rush and Sean had said
Health care, hope and amity were dead.
So go raise up your voice in pride and bluster
Cry not and never ever feel down.
We have the votes to stall and filibuster
Because of our new leader, Scotty Brown!


About bigshotprof

College Professor in the Communication Studies department at Pace University. My personal life fall somewhere in the gap between less than you want to know and more than you need to know.
This entry was posted in election, Opinion, satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Midnight Ride of Scotty Brown.

  1. neelofer says:

    This is fantastic!

  2. Matt says:

    You’re not assigning enough homework if you have time to write these and it’s not even Christmas.

  3. Rachel says:

    Sweet mercy, Morris!

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