How Pat Robertson Thinks.

For most of his adult life, Pat Robertson loved three things–his wife, his Lord, and board games. One night when he was supposed to be working on a sermon connecting his four piece Parcheesi block on Green’s escape lane to the miracle at Masada, God came in and caught him playing “Operation” with an 18 year old acolyte.  God did sayeth unto him: “Me Damn it! How simple can I make it! Okay, I might be able to give you a pass on Hugo Chavez, but Scotland? Dover, freakin’ Delaware? Seriously? And who uses money that was sent for me to buy a racehorse?! Truly, you boggle my mind. In turn, I have decided to boggle yours. No longer will I speak to you directly.  From now on, look for my inspiration in America’s favorite word search game! And don’t pray to me on TV for a while; I’ve had it up to here with you!”

One of my students interns at the ministry this semester, and sure enough, here is the boggle set she found only moments after Pat published his latest irrational screed:

H A P N
S C I E
E T O T
D V I L

As any competent Boggle player can tell you, the following words appear:

VOICES

PAIN

DEVIL

HAITI

PACT

CASH-IN

Given the nature of this inspiration, we can see that not only was Mr. Robertson’s logic possible, it was largely inescapable.

I hope this helps.

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About bigshotprof

College Professor in the Communication Studies department at Pace University. My personal life fall somewhere in the gap between less than you want to know and more than you need to know.
This entry was posted in Opinion, satire. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to How Pat Robertson Thinks.

  1. Brienne says:

    Oh, now I understand!

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