“FED” was a prophetic choice of words to scrawl on the dead body—if we can even assume the butchers had the humanity to wait until he was dead. Bill Sparkman, government agent! These animals literally meant that Bill Sparkman, a substitute teacher who was supplementing his meager income by walking up to the doors of his neighbors and asking them if they would answer a few simple questions was “the Man!” Government agent Bill Sparkman had his foot on their throats. He took all of their money and gave it to them what didn’t deserve it. He held the gate while millions of Mexicans, some from as far away as Costa Rica, El Salvador and even Asia!! poured through to take our jobs, gobble up our precious medicines and mix our blood. Bill Sparkman! Death Panel Bill! I-now-pronounce-you gay-married Bill! Bill no-more-Christmas Sparkman! Indoctrinate-our-children Bill!
Bill Sparkman. I want to use that name a lot. Not Senator Sparkman (D) NY. Not even Bill the Plumber. Just Bill Sparkman. Substitute teacher, Bill Sparkman. Maybe some clever right wing pundit, maybe, Ann or Michelle–Glenn isn’t witty enough—will start calling him Health Care Bill or Omnibus Spending Bill. But like it or not right wing, tcot, teaparty folks, you got your wish. Bill Sparkman just became the new John Birch—the first casualty in an undeclared civil war against America.
Give the insurgency’s generals credit. They have softened the battlefield brilliantly. The landscape is already dotted with the casualties of our popular culture’s obsession with rolling the weak. Nothing entertains us more or more profitably these days than watching the fat guy dance or find love, the washed up celebrity wallow in drug addicted pain, or two families torn apart for the price of one with the simple gimmick of flipping moms. What does one have to do with the other? Merely the justification—they asked for it and were too weak to stop it. “How can you watch her make them eat that?” “Hey, they asked for it.” She came all this way and tried her best. Why does Simon have to be such a dick?” “Hey, she’s seen the show before.” It is a self-sustaining ecosystem. They spew garbage, and we get fed.
There’s that word again. Fed. I have spent my life studying words, because often they produce unintentional brilliance like the Swiftian irony of “Get a Brain! Morans!” or “Thank You—Fox News—for Keeping Us Infromed!” or like the pomposity bursting “Make English America’s Offical Language!” The rich sinister double meaning of the scrawled word FED, though? There is no way the people who perpetrated this crime could have grasped its enormity. The machine will though. Right Glenn? Hey, Colbert. Who needs a Peabody, I have a Body count!
I’m not sure what the aftermath of this senseless killing will be. Will the right wing politicians who at once feed off of the hysteria and politely distance themselves from it realize that they are partially to blame? Will O’Reilly and Olbermann stop doing the They-are-Always-to-Blame circle jerk and actually use their forums to enlighten? Ten days from now—five if another celebrity dies—will anyone even remember this poor pathetic guy named Bill Sparkman who was just trying to put a buck in his pocket? I doubt it. What I am sure of, though, what you can get out your mattress and take the bank, is that before it is all over everybody who matters to the equation of American political power is gonna get fed.