There is no Win in Coincidence

There is an article in the April 10 2008 New York Times relating the special bonds being “forged” –and no doubt shaped on an anvil fashioned from reinforced trivium alloy–between people who Google themselves and find (and who would expect to) other people with the same name.

Forgive my sarcasm–or don’t–I find this a pretty uncreative exercise in bonding. eHarmony.com beware. “It was like . . . we had an immediate connection. My name was Lynn Davis . . . and . . . so was hers. Talk about common ground! Don’t give up, people. There IS a perfect match out there for you. I remember our first date. When we got to the restaurant, she turned to me and said ‘Did you make the reservation in your name or mine?’ Good times! “

When I leaped online to find my signaturenificant other, I was not as buoyed. http://www.barrymorris.com is “under construction.” Clearly my doppleganger has commitment issues. There is a Barry Morris who is the former chairman of Streambase Systems, whose slogan is “When Now Means Right Now!” Clearly his level of intensity and mine average out to zero. Barry Morris is also the former chief executive of Iona Industries. I’m starting to get a little worried. Hello, Mr. Monk, I want to hire you. I think someone is killing off people with my name. Although to be fair, this Barry Morris went out on top, having attended “IONA’s exclusive Rock’n’Roll event that featured IONA’s CEO Barry Morris on lead guitar with Spinal Tap.” At this moment I am feeling like their drummer.

There is a Barry Morris who wrote an article about Blue-Ray, another who played “Immigration Officer” in the Hit film Progeny, and another with facebook page full of friends who are way more attractive than mine.

The sad point is that I have absolutely no motivation to reach out to any of these people and say “Hey, Barry Morris! Me too!” This may be a deficiency of mine, but I really don’t think so. I mean, hey, why should I do all the work? Has Mr-big-shot-barry-morris–friend of Candice, Juliette and Tamarin Maria Vader (no relation)–made even a token stab at reaching out to me? The other two guys are looking for work, but this dude seems to have time on his hands.

Of course, at the end of the day, my attitude may all come down to click envy. While I was stumbling over all of these sundry Barry Morris’s I had to go four pages of Google search in to find myself–a lowly staff listing, accurate but significant of nothing.

Well, if thats the way they want to play it, then so be it! Google-starved people are people too. That’s right, Tamarin Maria Vader. Big Hunk Barry Morris’s snobbish disregard for his lessers is your loss. We could have had something.

I guess that’s how it goes.

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About bigshotprof

College Professor in the Communication Studies department at Pace University. My personal life fall somewhere in the gap between less than you want to know and more than you need to know.
This entry was posted in Barr Morris, eharmony.com, google searches, matches, New York Times, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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